Saturday, June 23, 2007

Security 3.0

The corposphere is all abuzz about Security 3.0!

Seems they just got back from a Gartner clusterfuck in Washington D.C. and they just can't stop talking about it. They gotta have it because it gets their corporate panties all tied up in a bunch just thinking about it!

Soon it will be Mr. HinkyDink's problem. I can only say "Bring it on suckaz!"

As you may or may not know, IRL the Dink is an Information Technology Security Whiz Kid. It's not a job I actively sought out. Rather I sort of fell into it during the dot-com days.

"Hey Dink! Wanna be the security officer?"

"I guess so."

And the job was mine. A few months later, at a burn rate of $1.7M per month the venture capital was drying up and it was obvious the place was sinking fast. I got out while the other rats were still in denial and finagled a job (for, sadly, much less money) at a large (9,000+ employees) organization as a programmer analyst. About two weeks later...

"Hey Dink! Wanna join my security team?"

"I guess so."

And the rest is... ummm... classified.

Anyhow, management reorgs and shakeups were the hallmark of the next few years and when the bits settled Dink was on top of the security heap. Not so high that he got to attend the Gartner clusterfuck personally, mind you. It's a very small heap, more properly described as a pile of crap.

Otherwise known as "Security 2.0"!

What is (was) "Security 2.0"? Funny you should ask. It was, according to Gartner, a pile of software and hardware security "point solutions". This translates to "a lot of small companies making money in a niche market". It turns out the Big Boys (IBM and HP in this case) noticed these small companies making money and bought them all up.

So they naturally turned to Gartner to "create buzz" over their new acquisitions. And that buzz is "Security 3.0"!

It will work out well for them. It always has. And I'll get a new budget that will end up in IBM and HP's deep, deep pockets.

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